Sometimes the cards give me a universal message, but today I think the cards are trying to find a few specific people. Maybe it's not you, but maybe you know who it is, in which case you can tell them, "Hey, this creepy guy in the internet says his deck of cards is speaking to you."

Because today's cards are the World and the Three of Swords.

Tarot cards depicting a woman suspended within a wreath, and a heart with three swords through it.

Yes, our friend the World is back again. She wins one Olympic sash-and-baton medal and suddenly she's in all of our tarot readings and breakfast cereal commercials. Though this time, I think it's more like a movie poster.

We see the two lead actors. On the left, a successful, talented woman moving forward into a bright future. And on the right is her ex, who is so miserable that the poster doesn't even depict the actor themselves, just a big heart with three swords stabbed through it. On, and in the rain, in case the whole "miserable" thing wasn't clear.

In the full movie, there would be a montage of the heart-full-of-swords actor slouching aimlessly along a crowded city street, and then sitting in a subway with an empty stare, and then sorting through a box of old Polaroids, and then crumpling up the sixth draft of a "please come back to me" letter.

Except that no one takes Polaroids or writes letters any more. How do you even do a romance movie in the 2020's?

Okay, a "please come back to me" e-mail then, even though that has no style, but whatever. And in that letter our heartbroken (heartstabbed?) ex tries to sum up their feelings in a poem.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have three giant swords stabbed through my heart and I'm moping in the rain
Since I lost you

So it looks like the cards want me to pass along a message to whoever out there is suffering through a painful break-up.

The heck with that.

Who am I to give that kind of advice? And what good would it do? It's only in the movies that your relationship problems get solved by a two-minute third-act converstaion with your quirky aunt, which leads you to a moment of self-revelation, a grand gesture of humility (probably involving a trendy pop song), and a big happy reunion.

Relationships are more complicated than that. I had one brief former relationship, and for years afterward, I would sometimes think back to some converation or other and discover a significant nuance I'd missed at the time. Though, to be honest, I'm an idiot, and these weren't so much "nuances" as they were things she was explicitly telling me and I was ignoring. Gosh, even today I have a tendency to...


I see what you did there, tarot cards. Very sneaky.

Fine, then. Tomorrow, hopefully a message for someone other than me.

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