Don Bisdorf

Inexpert Tarot Reading: March 17

Categories: [blog]

Am I going to get in trouble for posting these card images? Am I breaking copyright? Is Big Tarot going to show up at my door with a cease-and-desist letter?

Well, until that happens, today's cards are the Six of Swords and the Nine of Cups.

Tarot cards depicting a woman and child on a ferry, and a wealthy figure sitting smugly amid gold cups.

So the good news is that we have two cards we haven't seen yet! The bad news is that I was hoping to make today's reading non-political and non-topical. And, well, just look at those cards. How can you look at that card on the right and not immediately think, I'm not going there.

Okay, Don. You're the writer. You can do this.

It's a quest.

Our heroes are the passengers on the ferry. The adult is a badass warrior and is on high alert; thus the many swords in easy reach. The child might be the warrior's kid, or just might be someone the warrior is protecting, and no, I haven't seen The Mandalorian yet. In any case, they're headed off to an island. Why?

On that island is the guardian of the Grail. And when the heroes get there, they have to, wait, that was Indiana Jones. Okay, maybe the annoyingly smug figure on the rightmost card is a wizard and alchemist. They have the miraculous concoction that our heroes have been seeking. The alchemist will demand a price. Can our heroes meet the alchemist's demands and claim the miracle concoction?

If this were a roleplaying game, of course, the alchemist would say "First, brave heroes, you must win the challenge of the..." and wouldn't get any farther because my players would immediately stab the alchemist with six or so swords and steal the concoction.

See? It turned out to be pretty innocent after all. Just a nice chapter from a fable. After overcoming the Smug Alchemist, our heroes doubtless move on to confront the Self-Righteous Dragon and the Passive-Agressive Knight.

And the message, of course, is that whenever your quest leads you to the rickety ferry that carries you to the mysterious island and the ill-tempered wizard, be sure to tip your ferry driver.

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